Self-care is not Selfish
Practicing self-care is sometimes the least active part of our lives. In between working or taking care of family, it gets lost in the mix. Our entire functionality relies on it so we have to make time for it.
It’s often categorized into 6 groups: Social, Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual, and Practical. All equally important, though usually not treated as equal, and they all tie in together. Just as our lives aren’t always balanced, neither is the way we take care of ourselves. But that doesn’t mean we don’t do it. Self-care is only as complicated as you make it. What works for you, may not work for someone else. And it can be a journey to figure out, but the benefits are worth it. It’s all for our own health and wellbeing. Below are a few ideas for you to think about, as well as my personal top choices.
Social Self-Care
We, as humans, are social creatures. We need companionship, to be connected to others, to matter to someone else. So taking care of that part of our lives is imperative. If you are anything like me, it will depend on how you’re feeling and what you need at that moment. Sometimes I need a quiet night in with my parents, a simple wine and a good movie. Other times I need a night out on the town with my friends. For the life I lead, I definitely need more days out. And I’ll do anything from just meeting friends or family for dinner or a drink, to doing activities like pottery making, or candle-making. Just being around people who care about me, outside of my day-to-day environment like at home or work, makes all the difference in uplifting me. Plus, it gives me something to look forward to which is always great to be reminded of when having a bad day. So get out there and prioritise your go-to social self care. Try new things until you find what works for you.
Top Choice – catch up with friends at a bar
Physical Self-Care
Get moving! Say no to being a couch potato! Incorporating exercise and a solid healthcare routine into your life can sometimes feel like too much to think about. You’ve had a long day at work, been up since 5am, the last thing you might want to do is a spin class. But I’m here to tell you that getting past that initial ‘hell no’ reaction, will change your life. Physical exercise releases neurotransmitters such as endorphins and dopamine and they help reduce feelings of stress and pain. It’s like a cheat code to feeling good! Now I’m not a runner or a gym rat. I choose to exercise by doing a yoga class with my PT or going for a walk/hike. It doesn’t have to be strenuous, it just has to be something that gets you moving.
Physical health doesn’t stop with what you do with your body, it includes what you put in your body too. I don’t mean salads for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’m talking about a balanced diet. Something my mum has always said to me when it comes to food is that ‘everything is ok in moderation’. Being healthy doesn’t have to mean cutting things out or including specific things more, it just means making sure you give your body what it needs to function at its finest. If you are anything like me and don’t have a set routine when it comes to food, then control what you can and just try with the rest. For me this means trying to have a proper breakfast, reducing my fried food intake, sticking to fruit and nuts as snacks, and not eating past 8pm. Start simple and achievable. Then build up.
This also leads to your external body health. What you put in will find a way of presenting itself on the outside. Eat lots of junk food, hello acne, drink lots of beer, hello beer belly. You want to glow inside and out. So take the time to care for your skin and hair. Once a week I oil my hair for strength and length and every evening I cleanse my face and do my skin care routine and facial massage. Short and simple. Put care into maintaining yourself for yourself.
Top Choice – A massage, a freshly made fruit and veggie smoothie, and my skin care routine.
Emotional Self-Care
Emotional health is all about those feelings. As a self-aware extremely emotional person, I know how hard it is to keep them in check sometimes. You feel what you feel, when you feel it, and there’s no changing that. Those feelings need to be processed, not dulled or ignored. That’s where therapy, or journaling, or (my personal go-to) venting come in. Letting it out so it doesn’t take over and lead to a spiral. But in that moment, rather than dwell on it, close your eyes and think about one thing you know about yourself. Your favourite food, or colour, or what top you’re wearing, or what you ate for breakfast. Thinking about something mundane and irrelevant might help reset your mind and allow you to start processing and moving on. It may work, it may not. Everyone needs different tools to maintain emotional health, find what works for you and use it.
Top Choice – Venting to friends
Mental Self-Care
Mental health days. The ones where you fake being sick to get a day off (LOL). Mental self-care is when your mind needs to switch off from the daily tasks and work that make you feel like you are in a rut, or from social media that is attaching you to your phone. This is usually when you should do something productive that doesn’t take much thought, something you just do. Things like reading, puzzles or painting. All it takes is a little time and no pressure to finish. My favourite, although it may not seem like a good option, is watching tv. Sometimes, it’s just to fill the silence whilst I’m doing a puzzle, but most of the time it’s to give my mind something else to focus on, a break from reality, something I know everyone in the world needs every so often.
Top Choice – Watching TV and listening to music
Spiritual Self-Care
Spirituality can mean different things to different people. Some associate it with religious practice and some associate it with the greater universe. Our spiritual selves are like a part of ourselves that is living on a different plane. It takes a great amount of focus to care for it, and that’s because it means believing in something bigger than ourselves. Something unexplainable. Matters of the spirit and soul can’t easily be described, so how do we take care of them? Based on what you believe it to be, you might choose how to care for it accordingly. Common practices include praying, meditation, and communing with nature. Whatever helps you feel grounded and more connected to what you believe in.
Top Choice – Meditation and visiting a temple
Practical Self-Care
It has to be done. It just has to. These are all the tasks that we might hate to do because they are so tedious. Like paying bills, completing a new skills course, or budgeting your life. Whatever is on that never-ending to-do list. For me it’s usually doing daily chores like tidying and budgeting. It sometimes takes more time than you have, but once you do it, you feel so much more accomplished. The life skills that come with tending to your practical self-care are plentiful. It shows you that you can fend for yourself and enhances your independence. We all want to prove to the world that we can do it. So we just have to do it.
Top Choice – Organising and decluttering